The diary of a self-righteous struggler (part II)

Disclaimer:
This piece is written under intense pressure to prove that the shit I wrote in the last two days was no fluke. It is to tell myself that I am capable of sustaining un-inspirational, derogatory, arrogant, ridiculous writing over a considerable number of days (considerable= 3 days)
This piece is also written under immense heartbreak (miswrote it as brake) as there has been no internet connection since evening and my sadist brother breaks into a gig every time he catches me manhandling the router. A desperate call to the Airtel customer-care confirms my worst nightmare-It’s a server breakdown. My mom tries to place the events on a timeline, “Haan, shop pe Lucky bol raha tha ke Naxalwadio ne koi tower uda dia hai. 1000 log mar gaye. Tabhi server down hoga.” I take a deep breath and lock myself in a room. I listen to Beatles and feel wasted. I try to pick some movie from the hard drive, but give up in disdain.
: Disclaimer Over

This is in continuation to yesterday’s piece. This is dedicated to all my friends/philosophers/guides who have been a source of immense support through my unemployment phase and continue to do so till the curse gets bored of itself. Here are the 10 best pep talks/advices/inspirational messages directed towards me in the last 1 month and 7 days to be precise. (The names of the speakers have been kept anonymous on moral/ethical grounds. See-2, making of a good journalist, now can I get a job??)

1) Sab theek ho jayega (Everything will be fine): I understand that it’s the birth right of every patriotic Indian National to use this phrase at a drop of a hat. But, I feel like a teenage girl who has been impregnated by a rich boyfriend and a cheap condom and is left all deserted and cashless to abort the ‘aakhri pyaar ki nishani.’

2) Isme bhi kuch acha hi hoga (Something good will come out of this): I salute your level of optimism Sir (Oh that can be a hint). But I am dying here waiting for the ‘Acha’ to happen. If you think I am going to give up on my 2B’s (Butter chicken and Beer) as a last resort to please god, then FORGET IT!!

(Umm...On second thoughts...It’s not a big sacrifice though!)

3) I am sure you will shine someday: Yes, I will shine and India TV will declare me as Jaadu’s little sister on a vacation to Planet Earth. Worse, they won’t even count me in the 2011 census!

4) You will fly like a plane, you just need a runaway: Well, the above mentioned hypothesis holds true in this case as well. Moreover, who needs a job if I could fly? I would rather join the league of Superman/Batman/Spiderman/Iron Man-2 (I missed first part ;)) and ‘privatise world peace’. (Quoted from Iron Man-2. See, I told you I have my ethics intact)
5) Have patience, these things take time: I am not in labour Sir. Even ‘patience’ is ashamed/bored/embarrassed of my unemployment.

6) Tujhe sabne reject kar dia, maybe you are exceptional: I know you love me. Now stop making a fool of yourself.

7) There is a great learning in this wait: Yeah. Now I have learned names of obscure newspapers which otherwise no J-school would have taught. I can recite (miswrote it as entice) the station names of the newly opened metro link like a poem. The colour of my skin has gone two shades darker (as if Chennai wasn’t enough?) and last but not the least I get these cruel/sadistic dreams in which I hold a job in a fancy newspaper.

8) Don’t lose hope: Why? Is it the next best sin after losing one’s virginity? Does the Vatican condemn it? (ok! stay away from controversies)

9) Tough times don’t last, tough people do: This usually comes at the end of a B-grade inspirational speech with excerpts from Shiv Khera/Paulo Coelho/Arindam Chaudhary’s work.

10) Intelligent people are often misjudged: This usually comes from people who are sailing in the same boat.

P.S- I love you all.
P.P.S-I am just jobless.